A Pack Of Lips Now

What will you do when the world ends? How will you survive if life as we know it stopped being possible? What would you do if all technology failed? We are going to ask the experts, but not the experts that you would expect.

As a freelance writer, I read a lot. It kind of goes with the territory. I guess you could say that reading is part of the job description. I have noticed over the last 20 years or so, an increase in the already overdone subject of what some would call, Armageddon. Many folks would call it the end of the world scenario. I call it the Apocalypse Now syndrome. My stepson used to mispronounce it, saying what sounded like... a pack of lips now.

Was it funny? Sure it was, and cute, to say the least.

Was it scary?

Absolutely, because since the creation of the A-bomb, it has been a real possibility and one that has never been far from the front of every baby boomer's mind at least once a week or every time we look at a newspaper. (Reading required, remember.) 

The question is... are we ready? Many try to deny the thought. They will scoff, HA! (Scoffers always do so with a short laugh. Two HA!s are too many, none is... well, not enough.) They will not admit that every time they think that the world could end today, they wonder if they are ready for it. People, let me tell you, if you have to wonder, you are not ready for it. If you were ready, you would know it because you would be prepared for it. So..., if you do not have a bunker, a food cache, a couple of guns, (or at least a bow and arrow) and some camo gear, and at least one contingency plan, get to the back of the line.

In books, and in pop culture television and movies, there are many scenarios for the end of times. Whether it be zombies rising and taking out the majority of an unsuspecting population, or a terrorist detonating a couple of H-bombs, which would effectively end the world as countries blasted each other with all that they have in the hopes of taking everyone else out with them, or a secret government installation releasing a virus that was meant to be a weapon, or aliens invading the earth, it always comes down to one thing. There are survivors and they are in for one hell of a ride. It will be one tough row to hoe, regardless of being prepared.

Seriously, are you ready?

While none of those things is likely to happen, any one of them could happen. (With the possible exception of the zombie apocalypse) As a responsible writer, I have to ask the question and then I have to make a serious attempt to answer it. I approached this as any responsible writer would, by going to the experts. I did not know how easy, or how difficult that would be. I thought that all I would need was a prepared survivalist and all of my questions would be answered. 

I have never been so wrong in my life. 

First, I had to wade through the religious fanatics. Now do not get me wrong. I have nothing against religion. It is fanatics that bug me. The people that I talked to that fell into that category would make three or four other blogs so let's not go there. Then, I had to get through the mercenaries. I found out the hard way that these are the people who are hoping for end days. I made the mistake of contacting them from my personal email. Oh-boy, is all I can say. If you are not with them... you are against them. It has been a long time since I have been called so many undesirable names and I have never been called... a long-haired  hippo type, pinko fag. I am not really sure exactly what that is, but I get the denotation. 

Finally, I found a sub-culture. It is one that runs parallel to our own. They are called Preppers, not to be confused with the prudish preppies, rich kids who attend north eastern schools and grow up to be high society snobs. Preppers are people who prepare. I prepare for work every day with a brisk walk, (used to be a jog but my bones ache in the mornings) a shower, and a light meal of painkillers and coffee. College students prepare for finals by studying massive amounts of text and devouring large quantities of beer and pizza. Preppers prepare for the worst-case scenario and carry on like the rest of us. If you bumped into a Prepper, knives, guns, and maps would not fall out of their clothing. They do not drive 4-wheel drives to work, (necessarily) and will not try to convert you if the subject comes up.

To make a short blog even shorter, most Preppers are sane, normal, everyday Americans (mostly, as far as I can tell) who go to work, eat, sleep, and put their pants on one leg at a time unless they are in a hurry, which is almost never. The only difference between them and us is this. When the world goes to hell in a hand basket, for whatever reason, you and I will run in a circle with our hands waving over our heads screaming HELP US, or The Sky Is Falling! They will simply disappear into the background and go survive. Most of them figure that we have been warned. They are the ones who heeded the warning. 

I am now completely captivated by the idea, as you should be, that there are people out there that will survive regardless of what the end brings without becoming a paramilitary group. They are not dangerous. They are not lunatics. They are far from fanatics, although I guess most of those descriptions are open to interpretation. They are willing to talk about it if you want to engage them in the subject. They do not want to be the only ones left. They are not looking to repopulate the earth, although they probably will. They just want to survive, and not by the skin if the teeth. They are the ones who will apply the lessons that used to be handed down from generation to generation. We are talking about the basic survival skills. Before the world became so comfortable with the idea that we are invincible, we would teach our children how to live off the land first, and how to be social second. 

Now here is where the biggest misconception needs to be addressed. Preppers, for the most part, are not hermits living in the woods in some backwards way. They watch television, go to work, shop at the same stores as the rest of us, enjoy electricity, and celebrate the holidays. They are normal, everyday people like you and me. The difference is... they are prepared or preparing for the worst, which, when you think about it, we should all be doing to some extent. Sure, they horde food and collect the things needed, but they also learn how to use them. They are the keepers of knowledge that used to be second nature but is now lost on those who just add water or microwave for three minutes.  

I am asking a series of questions and our Preppers will answer them. If you would like to ask a question, simply put it in the comments and I will make sure they know about it. I have come up with, through polling everyday people like yourselves, 25 questions. Here is the first one.

Let's say that the world is going to end on December 21st and those crafty little Mayans were right, or... let's assume that most of us believe that the crap is going to hit the rotation oscillator very soon. What is the first thing we need, or need to know to survive the first news report that tells us not to panic and to remain in our homes, which is government talk for run away and hide.